Monday, 2 June 2014

100 word challenge

100 Word Challenge
Words,
Gateway, Black, Running, cold, Friend

 The day had come the air was dense and cold the black fog still hung and the frost was nipping at my toes. I was nervous and could feel butterflies about to break loose in my stomach the final call for all people who where entering the running race echoed over the speaker "all people running the  22km run can you please come to the line,final call" I gave my mum a hug and listened good luck chants. I ran through the gate way to meet my competitors my best friend Haley was waiting for me with a smile.
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4 comments:

  1. Ms DW 8 June 2014 at 13:20

    Phillipa

    Thank you for sharing your story with us. I enjoyed your description of "butterflies" to show your nerves.

    Try to use a bit more punctuation as this will help the story flow, so that you don't need to use so many "ands".

    Mrs DW Team 100

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  2. Anonymous21 June 2014 at 22:56

    This is really good writing Phillipa! I like the way you described the cold as "nipping at my toes". Maybe work on the punctuation, but apart from that, its AWESOME :D

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