100 Word Challenge
Words,
Gateway, Black, Running, cold, Friend
The day had come the air was dense and
cold the
black fog still hung and the frost was nipping at my toes. I was nervous and could feel butterflies about to break loose in my stomach the final call for all people who where entering the running race echoed over the speaker "all people
running the 22km run can you please come to the line,final call" I gave my mum a hug and listened good luck chants. I ran through the
gate way to meet my competitors my best
friend Haley was waiting for me with a smile.
Phillipa
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your story with us. I enjoyed your description of "butterflies" to show your nerves.
Try to use a bit more punctuation as this will help the story flow, so that you don't need to use so many "ands".
Mrs DW Team 100
Thanks :)
DeleteThis is really good writing Phillipa! I like the way you described the cold as "nipping at my toes". Maybe work on the punctuation, but apart from that, its AWESOME :D
ReplyDeleteThank you for your feed back!!
Delete